A few months ago, when ppl ask which unit i'm being posted to, i am proud to say i'm from the cdo, but now the tone and the feeling when saying the 4 words are totally diff..
As time passes, one may wonder if he has done his best in wadeva that he has completed or can he do better.
yes, today, i finally asked myself this question.
before today i haven't thought that being a cdo man is a useless thing..
but today i really start to question myself if i could have done it better, whether i could have attained a higher rank, a sgt? or even an officer?
i've been living in a competitive environment, from pri sch to sec sch, my mum always like to compare my results with my 2 cousins(one was in the same pri sch, same class as me, and the other happen to be in the same sec sch with me)
I could still rmb that everytime after the release of exam results when i reached home, my mum would ask me how well i did, and straight after that would always be the same question, how well did ur cousin do? did u win her?
I understand that she's doing all these for my own good, but everytime when she found out that my cousin did better than me, she would scold me and blame me for watching too much tv and playing too much, i was stressed during that 10years. i want to tell her not to compare with others but i knew it would only disappoint her so i just kept quiet.
Since then, I've been living with this mentality that wadeva i do, i must win all my relatives, my cousins, and i cannot lose to them.
And so far i felt that i have achieved it, and as time passes, i realise my mum no longer compare wadeva i do with my cousins and i felt a little weird..
i always wanted to do the best to let my mum 'have some face' in front of my relatives, and having entered the best unit in the saf, i thought she would feel proud of me.
but today when one of my relative wad rank i was in cdo, i realised i couldn't say that i was a cpl as loud as before, because i'm just a man and so far all my cousins are either officers or sgts.
It's like a sudden knock on my head which wakes me up from my dream.
While shopping with mum today, i can't help but ask her, 'do u feel ashamed that the rest of my cousins are either officers or sgts and i'm just a man'.
and guessed wad she said..
'no, as long as u are happy den i'm fine with it.' and she told me her tears almost rolled out when she attended my BMT POP and red beret presentation parades.
Is this wad they mean by living for others?
If dat is, den i'm really living for others and has nvr really enjoy my own life where there's no competition with anyone, and i truly feel happy doing all the things.
In the past, the only thing which makes me feel no pressure was my cca. because i love all my ccas, from npcc in sec sch to lifeguard in jc, those were the only things that make me the happiest. On the other hand, books and notes are the culprits that caused me to live for others.
But now, after hearing those words from my mum, i'll truly live a life of my own and stop the mentality of always comparing with my relatives or even friends.
They may have a higher rank and may be better than me in any field, all these will not bother me anymore, i will continue to serve the ns and do all my things with pride and happiness.
So wad if i'm just a man, as long as i do my things well and i'm happy, den being a man is no diff from being a sgt or even an officer.
Jiayou!!! :D
As time passes, one may wonder if he has done his best in wadeva that he has completed or can he do better.
yes, today, i finally asked myself this question.
before today i haven't thought that being a cdo man is a useless thing..
but today i really start to question myself if i could have done it better, whether i could have attained a higher rank, a sgt? or even an officer?
i've been living in a competitive environment, from pri sch to sec sch, my mum always like to compare my results with my 2 cousins(one was in the same pri sch, same class as me, and the other happen to be in the same sec sch with me)
I could still rmb that everytime after the release of exam results when i reached home, my mum would ask me how well i did, and straight after that would always be the same question, how well did ur cousin do? did u win her?
I understand that she's doing all these for my own good, but everytime when she found out that my cousin did better than me, she would scold me and blame me for watching too much tv and playing too much, i was stressed during that 10years. i want to tell her not to compare with others but i knew it would only disappoint her so i just kept quiet.
Since then, I've been living with this mentality that wadeva i do, i must win all my relatives, my cousins, and i cannot lose to them.
And so far i felt that i have achieved it, and as time passes, i realise my mum no longer compare wadeva i do with my cousins and i felt a little weird..
i always wanted to do the best to let my mum 'have some face' in front of my relatives, and having entered the best unit in the saf, i thought she would feel proud of me.
but today when one of my relative wad rank i was in cdo, i realised i couldn't say that i was a cpl as loud as before, because i'm just a man and so far all my cousins are either officers or sgts.
It's like a sudden knock on my head which wakes me up from my dream.
While shopping with mum today, i can't help but ask her, 'do u feel ashamed that the rest of my cousins are either officers or sgts and i'm just a man'.
and guessed wad she said..
'no, as long as u are happy den i'm fine with it.' and she told me her tears almost rolled out when she attended my BMT POP and red beret presentation parades.
Is this wad they mean by living for others?
If dat is, den i'm really living for others and has nvr really enjoy my own life where there's no competition with anyone, and i truly feel happy doing all the things.
In the past, the only thing which makes me feel no pressure was my cca. because i love all my ccas, from npcc in sec sch to lifeguard in jc, those were the only things that make me the happiest. On the other hand, books and notes are the culprits that caused me to live for others.
But now, after hearing those words from my mum, i'll truly live a life of my own and stop the mentality of always comparing with my relatives or even friends.
They may have a higher rank and may be better than me in any field, all these will not bother me anymore, i will continue to serve the ns and do all my things with pride and happiness.
So wad if i'm just a man, as long as i do my things well and i'm happy, den being a man is no diff from being a sgt or even an officer.
Jiayou!!! :D
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