09..thanks..

day two of CNY, today had to go to my mother's side where all the relatives and cousins will gather at my grandma's house and have lunch..felt dat i am much closer to my cousins at my father's side than my mum's side but nvm, i have my angbaos can liao..den went out with my clique, hahax...the usual five of us met at lakeside and went to taman jurong and play pool and bowling..was quite unhappy la, so didnt concentrate on the games, lost in both games la..the bowling i got fourth in position den they keep saying i am thinking of things dats why nvr played well, indeed i am...den lost to aaron and clement in pool...cant blame me oso, they quite pro in playing pool den i am still a noob in it coz this was only my second time playing pool...nvm...den went to the mac dere and ate adn continue chatting, but i dun think it was a chat but should say it was more of a counselling session to me coz they keep asking me to carry on with life...clement said he would help me but i told them i had very little faith, not dat i am inconfident of clement but i dun believe anything he says will change her mind, though she is her mei...den he showed me one sms which got the three precious words in it, i can only say dat i xian mu ta...no matter how much i longed for it, it will nvr be said to me again...i noe problems appear in the relationship, i am beginning to know wad they are, it is due to a lack of communication between us, but mostly is coz i dunno how to express my thoughts and feelings to her, which caused her feelings to slowly fade away...everytime i am unhappy, i wanted to tell her, its just dat i dunno how to say it out and she thought dat i do not wanna say, but in actual fact i wanted to tell her alot coz i noe she is the only one whom i can confide in if i am unhappy...but now when i am unhappy, i wish she could still be my stead and i will want to say it out to her...i want to tell her so much dat i am unhappy and i need a hug from u...man are strong but they can be weak at times...i realised my mistakes and i would really like to correct them and salvage this relationship.

many ppl tell me dat i shouldnt just be trapped by one tree coz there are still alot of other better trees in the forest, but i wanna tell them, love is blind, it has blinded me, so much so dat i do not want to go to other trees but just stay and be with this tree forever, this is wad i mean by true love. but this is only a wishful thought of mine, its a one-way love so nvm...

just now we were having a men's talk in my cousin's room den we talked about the using of phone, i just dun understand how they can talk until 7 and a half hours man...must pei fu aaron leh, can talk to his gf for so long...the most i talked to her is only like 40+ mins...ah ha...this is where the problem lies, i do not noe how to talk and dats why communication between us is just like a barrier...wanted to be given a chance to change and be a better stead but is it possible? judgement day is on wed...

but really must thank aaron, clement and lin mei for making me laugh today, it has been some time since i last laughed...thanks and all the best in ur studies and career and relationship...