spent half of my day today at the funeral again, but today is the last day liao, me, my mum and my aunts joined in their last prayers(if i'm not wrong, but its not christian that kind one..haha, my eng cmi one)...den had to "dai xiao"(dats wad they call it), hmm, it's the same as my grandpa that time, that time is just a small blue square cloth, but today is a small green cloth with another red one on top...interesting, but when they put the coffin into the van dat time, alot of my relatives cried, den i very easily influenced one ma, so felt abit emo...den throughout the bus trip to mandai crematorium, i was thinking wad will happen if i died some day...wad will happen if my parents died(touch wood...) hmm, den when we watch the coffin slowly move into the place where they cremate it, all of them cried den i oso cant tolerate anymore liao, so let the tears flow out...i think if my mum or grandma died, i will cry like mad manx...may even collapse...they dote me alot alot, better than my sis, esp my mum, i cannot afford to lose anymore loved ones...one is enough for me, though she just left my side, but it feels like as if i am leaving her forever...up till now, i can say that i still love me as much...it feels terrible to lose ur loved ones, so had to treasure them now...

tmr's the last paper, wonder if i can concentrate, coz these two days feeling very emo and upset den couldnt focus on my revisions, just hope that the paper will end quickly...but something good about tmr is that the whole CI team will be back to rv, tgt with the HOs...haha...got alot of things waiting for me to settle manx...erm, i mean the atc...haix...gonna be stressed again...


read this from a website....


Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind].

Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.

With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of [people].
I have wished to know why the stars shine.

Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.

This has been my life; I found it worth living.






when will we talk again?