tears welled....why must fate make fun of me? am i not pitiful enough? want me to be depressed till i die izzit? pls pls...stop making fun of me liao, i really cant stand it already...last week my week was almost perfect but this week it went straight down...why must my PE lesson be at the same place as theirs and let me see her...it hurts...it really hurts..esp when she talks to guys and laughs so happily...could still rmb one scene when jaymond was injured when running to get rid of his unhappiness...she ran straight to him...at that moment, i thought: wad if the same thing happen to me? will she run to me and comfort me? well, i dun run, i am a swimmer...so even if i swam and drown or be unconscious during training, she wun noe anw...once she laughs, my heart starts to ache and it really is painful...really really...those who had nvr gone thru break up will nvr understand it...wanted to go home alone coz wanted to get drenched in the rain and fall sick...but billy insist that he share his umbrella with me, so i went home with him, on the way home, was thinking why the lightning wun strike me? why the car wun bang me? why dun let me die? i hate the pain...i dun like it...but i am experiencing it almost everyday...i really envy andy, jaymond, jin xuan and all the other guys who are so close to her...i love her so much but its like i cant really do anything to her now...i am sad, upset, depressed...billy told me to cheer up..melvin told me to take care, i noe they care for me, but right now, i dun wish to talk to anyone...just wanna be alone to get over some things...sorry guys...forgive me for being so stubborn...i'll try to be back to myself asap...

p.s.: yulu, can give me the address, coz i think i really need to go for counselling, thanks...