"there are a thousand reasons why i should give up, but i'm stubborn in the things i believe" yep..i haven given up yet and neither will i give up, i once said dat i am one who makes the impossible possible, it seems totally impossible now, but i'll try...even it proves to be impossible in the end, at least i noe dat i have really tried my best to salvage this relationship..at the same time, i am beginning to adapt to the life now, being alone here and dere and looking down on myself, speaking to my little piggie when i am upset, hug it and cry...its hard on me, but dere are always ppl who are much worse than me...like wad i say, the scar will accompany me thru the darkest part of my life...let there be light in this long tunnel to lead me to the exit...

atc is the next big event dat is coming up...rvnp is the unit dat is going to plan the sec 3 atc...hahax...i think dat i am dumb lar, thought dat the coordinator for the camp will be a HO...stupid right? haix...but too bad la, its a CI lar huh...so its the 3 of us la...damn challenging manx...AREA CAMP leh...8 schools leh...nia eh...sure will kana scolded like hell man...nvm..scoldings will make us better...come on, the few of us can do it manx...we are rvnp CIs manx....hahax...but act i very scared one, coz very scared ppl scold me...dead...must overcome this fear manx...

2 injuries within a week..one is i caused it myself while the other is an accident manx...today went to play bball with some of the rvians...at first was ok den my bandage starts to drop, so fed up la, in the end just took it off and play...den scratched by dunno who, got bleed abit manx...PAIN!!! lol...den went to swim with melvin, terry and some strangers..haha...den dive into the pool again and sprain my back....quite serious manx, damn pain now can......wad de hell...hope i wun be half paralysed coz of this manx...tmr gonna chiong bball again...see how many times i can injure myself...sorry la...i dunno how to take care of myself one...really find life meaningless manx...besides looking forward to becoming a police officer, i really dunno wad to look forward to....a girl? not possible coz no one will like me manx...i just suck! haix..

one advice to the cadets, if u are unhappy or have anything to comment on the act/NCOs/officers, do it during the debrief or tell us personally, dun talk behind one's back...do not do wad u dun wan ppl to do on you...i noe i am not a good CI, but i'm learning to be one...i am not afraid of wad u guys said, coz i believe i did not do anything wrong...i have my reasons behind all the actions dat i have taken, if i commit a mistake and i noe it, i will admit it and apologise, not find an easy way out by hiding the truth...this is me...wad about u all? wad was ur reactions when u noe dat u are in the wrong and someone tells u ur mistake? showing us dat u have AP? or wad? think about it urself...if u think u can be a good leader, prove to us...if u think u are not, den be a follower and LEARN TO LEAD...li hai jiu hao, bu yao jia li hai...hate this kind of ppl manx....

kae la...spend quite alot of time on this entry liao...going to mug liao...cya..oh ya, thanks eric..